Haruhimonogatari
by All Day Tsundere
Summary: Haruhi wants a world filled with all types of weird things like vampires, spirits and ghosts. It just so happens that theirs a city not far from where she lives that is filled to the brim with such things, dragging Kyon and the rest of the Brigade with her they'll meet and interact with a some familar faces
**Haruhimonogatari**

* * *

It was but another lazy afternoon inside the SOS Brigade clubroom, Asahina was serving tea like usual, Nagato was reading a book and from what Kyon got from the cover it was a book about vampires. Strange considering sci-fi was Nagato's usual choice in literature. Our 'hero' Kyon was playing a game of Checkers with resident ass-kisser, Itsuki Koizumi.

Where's Haruhi You ask? She's studiously browsing the internet for any weird happenings and occurrences, and a certain half-vampire's exploits a city and a half over has got her interest.

Suddenly standing from her sitting position, the glorious leader of the SOS brigade began to fake cough to get her underling's attention.

"Underlin… I mean comrades! What is the reason why the SOS Brigade exists?"

Kyon, annoyed by Haruhi's lack of vocal tact as well as interrupting his rarely peaceful moments gave a rather scathing response.

"The SOS Brigades' purpose is to pander to your idiotic fantasies."

Angered by Kyon's response, Haruhi went straight to Kyon's face and glared daggers at him.

"Nobody asked you Kyon!" Haruhi shouted at Kyon.

"You just did!" He snapped back.

"Never mind that, I'll just tell you all why I formed this organisation in the first place!"

A sigh and a facepalm later and Kyon lets Haruhi go on her useless tirade.

"Our purpose is to find espers, time-travellers, aliens and any other weird stuff that isn't normal, but we haven't found anything of that like yet."

"Maybe she finally gave up on her wild beliefs after all." Kyon said to himself.

But in typical Haruhi fashion she doesn't give up on her dreams and instead has a new scheme up her sleeve.

"There's a small city not far from here that rumour has it is filled with weird stuff! Ghosts, spirits, vampires and other crazy stuff like that! And guess where the SOS Brigade is headed to next?"

Haruhi was absolutely beaming, Koizumi was in his usual fake cheery demeanor, Asahina was exited and curious about the trip, Nagato was stone-faced as usual and Kyon was in a weird middle ground between apathy and dread. Being the lazy bastard he was, Kyon didn't really want to go, but he didn't want to make another fuss killing more of his energy when he would be forced to go anyways. And of course having a trip with Haruhi means the possibility he's gonna die a horrible death so there's that.

* * *

Finally arriving to the city, Kyon was a little shocked. The old town where he and the rest of the brigade lived was a backwater compared to this city, it was huge and a bit futuristic in its aesthetic.

"Who would've thought a place like this was only a few hours away?" Kyon said out loud.

Haruhi was as amazed as Kyon, but that didn't stop her impatience from getting the better of her.

"Yeah, yeah Kyon the big pretty lights are nice but we came here to look for some unexplainable phenomenon's not sightseeing."

Before Kyon could snap back, Haruhi pulled out some straws from out of nowhere.

"In typical SOS Brigade fashion, we draw straws to see who pairs with who!"

Grabbing poor little Mikuru from behind, Haruhi began fondling the sorry girl and doing her usual antics.

"kyaaa! Haruhi what are you doing!" Mikuru shrieked in surprise.

Haruhi continuing to feel-up Asahina despite her protests, feeling her breasts and kissing her ear.

"I'm just petting my sweet, adorable Mikuru. I hope we get paired up together!"

Annoyed by Haruhi's actions Kyon broke up the 'petting' between the two

"Enough with this, let's just hurry up and draw straws already."

Humphing from being interrupted, Haruhi let Asahina go and began to hand out her straws.

"Way to ruin the mood Kyon you idiot, everybody got theirs yet? Let's see who's paired with who then!"

Nagato, Koizumi and Asahina drew the same straw whilst Kyon and Haruhi drew the same ones, and thus it was decided. The team of Haruhi and Kyon will examine the suburban area including the school while the other team would check the city centre.

* * *

To say that this was an undesired pairing would be an understatement, both Kyon and Haruhi wanted to pair up with Asahina. Both not getting what they wanted they began to squabble until they reached the school.

"Damn this school definitely beats North High in terms of budget, it actually looks like a place a person could learn." Kyon stated

It was a rather impressive school sleek and modern a far cry from the dump they both studied at, they made their way inside trying to look like they belonged there.

That was until Haruhi noticed the out of place spiral staircase slapdash in the middle of the school. With all the subtlety of a sea otter she began sprinting toward the staircase.

"Haruhi you idiot what the hell are you doing!?" Kyon shouted hypocritically.

It was only when he actually reached the staircase that Kyon realised why Haruhi was sprinting in the first place, a tall girl with purple flowing hair was falling from the sky. It was so graceful that Kyon was momentarily frozen. It was then that he realized that Haruhi was too far away to save the girl, was he about to see a person die?

Just before the girl met her end via the unforgiving floor, a boy caught her in his hands. they sprinted toward him to see if she was fine. The boy was an average looking student, nothing really special in terms of looks other than a single hair being unnaturally faced upwards despite the rest of his hair being flat.

Kyon believed that it was called an "Ahoge" or idiot hair learning that term from one of his Otaku friends back in Middleschool a picture of a short blue haired moe girl was in his mind when he saw that hair, hopefully he isn't as dim as his hair tells him he is.

Haruhi is the first to speak to the boy

"Is she alright?"

The boy responded, a shocked look still plastered on his face.

"Senjougahara is fine, she's conscious and everything."

The boy dropped the girl known as Senjougahara down on her feet rather easily Kyon and Haruhi thought to themselves. The girl was standing on her two feet but a cold menacing look was on her face, it was pointed at the boy.

"Thank goodness she's alright." Kyon blurted out exhausted from the run and shock.

The girl began to speak. "Araragi how did you…"

The boy, Araragi spoke before she could finish.

"I followed you here after what you did with the staples."

Like ice she diverted her attention towards us.

"Who are you two?"

Kyon wasn't about to let Haruhi ruin their first impression of them.

"She's Haruhi and I'm…."

Haruhi ruined that by blurting out his dreaded nickname and taking the conversation from there.

"He's Kyon and were from North High a couple of towns away from here, were on SOS Brigade business." Haruhi says this while pointing at her armband that says SOS brigade on it

It was Araragi's turn to speak,

"North High huh? That's a few hours away from here isn't it?"

Senjougahara having no interest in the conversation leaves us flamboyantly brushing her hair for all to see, "And I thought Haruhi had an inflated ego." Kyon thought to himself not wanting to provoke the dangerous looking girl,

since her fall took quite a bit from Senjougahara, she stumbled her balance still not fully there. This results in her landing on Kyon.

Expecting to fall flat on his ass, Kyon was surprised he wasn't it felt like nothing was really touching him. It then hit him like a tonne of bricks.

"Kyon what the hell are you doing get of her!"

A ghastly feeling was enveloping Kyon despite they're being a rather tall girl leaning on him, he couldn't sense any pressure it's as if she was weightless. A wide-eyed and icy glare that could rival or even surpass Haruhi's own frightening glare was stared directly in Kyon's face.

Realising what was happening he awkwardly stood her up and apologised profusely, she coldly left without any interaction.

Kyon approached Araragi making sure Haruhi was not in sight.

"That girl was completely weightless wasn't she?" Kyon asked quietly.

"She was; it seems something supernatural is happening." Araragi responded back

The way Araragi said that fact so nonchalantly made Kyon nervous, if this sort of thing was common then that means this place really is a hotbed of weird shit.

"You better not mention any of this to Haruhi over there, if she finds out anything supernatural is real then were fucked."

A small laugh escaped Araragi one that disturbed Kyon

"That'll be hard to keep a secret, when I'm a bit of supernatural being a half-vampire myself."


End file.
